In this third installment of my series on discrimination, I sit down with one of my best amigas, Cheli Brubaker.

I’ve always admired Cheli’s openness and acceptance of others. To know her is to adore her. Cheli is a first-generation American of West Indian descent, as her parents migrated here from the Caribbean. Cheli shares her experience living in predominantly white communities (particularly sheltered, conservative communities) as a youth and as part of a biracial couple.

Though she and I know each other well, I was intrigued to hear her views on race relations. She and I discuss using labels, taking accountability, commanding respect, reciprocating support, and reserving judgment.

It’s a thought provoker.

You can find Cheli on Instagram @chelitb or on Facebook under Cheli Brubaker

Cheli sporting her Nativist tee: open eyes, open minds, open hearts

In the second episode exploring discrimination, I talk with Akilah Lacey, a police officer who offers a unique and valuable perspective on his experiences and outlook on discrimination as a law enforcement officer and member of a biracial marriage in a predominantly white, conservative community.

Akilah describes what it was like transitioning from Watts to Orange County to Pocatello, Idaho, and how he bridges the gap while straddling two worlds in this current charged climate. We discuss the importance of awareness, perspective, open mindedness, communication, and empathy. We highlight the importance of listening to learn and understand, and the necessity of taking accountability for our actions.

It’s generally accepted that discrimination exists. We may disagree on on how/where/when/why discrimination manifests, but people for the most part acknowledge it’s there. Many are recently awakening to how deep and prevalent it is.

It is not enough to be non-discriminatory. We must be anti-discriminatory.

I for one know I could step it up. Yes, I’m acutely aware - and have been for essentially my whole life - of pervasive and persistent racism and discrimination. Yes, I continually research and educate myself on the topic. Seek perspectives. Self reflect and ask myself hard questions. Consider the micro and macro pictures/factors. Express outrage and disgust when talking to others. But if I’m honest with myself…that’s the bare minimum. I can - and will - do more. This is me trying to pull my weight.

It’s not enough to be privately anti-racist/sexist/etc. Clearly, that hasn’t moved the needle enough. We must be publicly and actively so. If you’re unsure of how to go about that, you’re in the right place. Come with me as we dive into this, by asking questions, considering views, sharing resources, and assessing possibilities. Follow along on this account/my blog/podcast. Human power. ✊✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

This is another episode per request. Though it’s a topic that’s often discussed…it’s still just as relevant and necessary.

And let’s be straight: Self love isn’t always about massages and candlelit baths. Sometimes it’s about tough love. Digging in and doing shadow work. Calling yourself on your bullshit. Identifying and eliminating your toxic habits. As with everything in life, balance is crucial and boundaries aren’t just to apply to other people. They’re not just interpersonal - they should be intrapersonal as well.

I talk about how self love looks like:

• Recognizing and releasing toxicity - yours and others’

• Connecting to yourself

• Honoring your basic needs: emotional, physical, mental

• Communicating directly and authentically, and letting others do the same (without overanalyzing and assuming people hate you/are mad at you)

• Apologizing only for things within your control

• Setting boundaries

• Asking for what you want/need

• Daring to say yes, and daring to say no

• Feeling and navigating your emotions

• Releasing what you can’t control, and prioritizing what you can

• Treating yourself and others with grace and kindness

I hope you find value in this. And I hope you love yourself. Because I sure as hell do.

-w-

Per request, this episode dives into politics. 

I have a degree in political science and international relations, with a minor in psychology, so this is definitely an area of interest. I discuss the roles of politics and tribalism in our lives, how certain leaders can be so powerful, how to educate yourself on issues effectively and responsibly, why international relations affect our daily lives, why Americans should stay sympathetic and humble, and why open-mindedness is essential. Plus...a whole lot of other stuff. I keep it clean, I keep it neutral...but hopefully, I also keep it thought provoking.

Below, you’ll find my outline I used for this episode - in case you feel like getting wild and really digging in (or using for past/future reference!)

• Disclaimer: This is not going to be partisan. For my job, I must stay neutral. As you may have noticed, I stay neutral on social media (though sometimes this is tough - especially on my Hot Topic Thursday questions!).

• Lizard brain

  • Fear of survival

  • Self preservation kicks in

  • Law of scarcity

  • Identify common enemy

  • If leaders can activate your lizard brain, then game over: they can control you

    • Eg. Hitler

    • Try to not let this happen to you!

• Tribalism

  • In vs. out crowd

  • Humans are social creatures

  • Back in the day, our survival depended on fitting in with the tribe. Strength in numbers. We couldn’t survive without it. Now, it’s still important, especially for mental health.

  • Associating with a tribe gives us a sense of identity and purpose. Provides framework for our life. Makes us feel like we belong

  • Judging others makes us feel superior (reference judgment podcast). Gives us a hit of feel-good emotions. Makes us feel smarter than, more pious than, etc.

  • We love “gotcha” moments: 

• I’m personally politically independent and issue based. I don’t affiliate with a political party.

  • I think it can get dangerous when you have blind, unconditional loyalty to groups/human constructs, like a political party

    • No matter what, the GOP is always right. 

    • Ride or die for the Democrats

    • If you think about it, that defies reason. That’s just giving away your power. Your agency. 

  • Both sides are guilty. Just like there are bad eggs in every profession, or organization, or religion. We’re human. We’re fallible. 

• Without getting too into it, I’ll just say that mixing religion and rule can be a slippery slope, no matter what kind of religion and what kind of government it is: democracy and Christianity, democracy and Judaism, monarchy and Islam. Not that certain mixtures can never work: it can be closed-minded to think so (and I’m a FIRM believer in open-mindedness, both in preach and practice). Let’s not be so quick to denounce another way of doing things. This goes for countries and people. 

  • I also strongly believe in freedom. As you may have heard me say, a main mantra of mine is to live and let live, unless your lifestyle harms another. There are many different kinds of religions and anointing one religion as THE religion by yoking it to the official rule of law impede others’ freedom to practice their own. A “holier-than-thou” attitude - particularly in politics - can be detrimental, counterproductive, and downright damaging in multiple ways. If there is an official religion, let’s make it love. Boom. On to the next topic.

• Let’s talk economy

  • I’m no economist by any means, but I’ve read a few books and tried to educate myself somewhat. 

    • Some of the books I’ve read:

      • Keeping At It: The Quest for Sound Money and Good Government by Paul Volcker. Volcker is the former chairman of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System, and the former Undersecretary of the Treasury for Monetary Affairs and president of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York. Volcker chronicles his career, during which he confronted multiple financial crises and issues. He extols the virtue of stable prices, sound finance, and good government. It wasn’t as dry of a read as you’d expect.

      • Capitalism in America: A History by Alan Greenspan: From the legendary former Fed Chairman and the acclaimed Economist writer and historian, the full, epic story of America's evolution from simple colonies to the world’s most powerful engine of wealth and innovation. Greenspan explores why the economy surges, changes, stalls, etc. He distills a lifetime of grappling with these questions about capitalism, etc,  into a thorough and profound book outlining the decisive drivers of the US economy over the course of its history.

  • riveting?! Okay, okay, fine. I get it. \

  • What I would love people to understand: The economy is multi-dimensional and affected by a variety of factors, most of them international factors. 

  • And the economy is not the only way to measure how well a leader is doing

    • I don’t expect everyone to become international relations experts, but I would LOVE for there to just be more awareness of how important IR are, and the bearing they have on everything else (like the economy!). Part of this is because raising one’s awareness of international relations also heightens your consideration of people in other countries and cultures. There’s more to the world than just your local economy, or even national economy. Let’s expand our consciousness beyond how well our personal investments/bank accounts/jobs are doing

    • Ex. of how IR can affect us: 

      • It affects how much you pay at the pump: OPEC arguing over oil prices affects the price of gas

      • It affects the price of goods: the creation/dissolution of trade deals or tariffs with, say, China, will affect the price of imports/exports. This affects supply/demand in the world, and trickles down to your wallet.

      • It affects where you can travel (and where it’s safe to travel): Allying with or angering certain countries affects whether or not you need a passport/visa, or whether or not you’re even welcome in that country at all. There are also ripple effects in IR: our alliance/dismissal with a certain country can spark fighting in that country or elsewhere, making it unsafe to travel there. Or less directly felt by us (but not less important), it can enable bad people to do bad things.

  • And an unfortunate truth: America isn’t invincible. We’re not entitled or even guaranteed to win. We must safeguard our liberties. Other great nations have fallen - so can ours. Let’s not get cocky. We must stay humble and considerate. We mess up (we’ve had some ROYAL screw ups in the past - Native Americans (stealing land, smallpox blankets), meddling in affairs worldwide for our own gain, etc). Most of those past indiscretions have lingering effects playing out today, and are reflected in the world’s current state of affairs. We’ve disrupted entire cultures and countries. Yes, other countries and other superpowers have, too. Yes, that doesn’t excuse current terrorism and violence. Yes, it’s not productive to constantly dwell on the past and constantly be held accountable for our predecessors’ mistakes. However, 1. We still mess up (we’re fallible humans, remember?) and 2. I think it’s key for us to at least acknowledge our missteps and how they affect current events. Be humble. Think of someone who did you dirty in the past. Maybe they lied to you, or stole your bike, or didn’t invite you to a big party. Doesn’t feel good, right? Now let’s step that up: Imagine they murdered your family, stole your land, forced you to submit and follow their rules (punished you if you didn’t), and then didn’t apologize for decades later - after the damage had been done? And then downplayed it (or outright DENIED it and told you to get over it already). See how that kind of grudge could stick with a person? So let’s be a little kinder to everyone. 

  • Okay, back to the importance of international relations (though what I just said does directly apply). 

    • Current international relations are a result of past international relations. People who currently despise America generally don’t hate us simply because they’re mean, bad people. They loathe us for a reason: often, for those aforementioned past indiscretions. We did them dirty. 

    • Often, pride is mixed in with that. It’s not a good feeling to be the world’s epicenter of culture, mathematics, literature, etc - and then suddenly find yourself a third-word country. Ouch. So let’s be compassionate. 

    • And sometimes people just hate Americans because they’ve had too much haterade - and we have to remember, that’s their prerogative. It’s unfair and elitist to think American humans are better than other humans, and Americans are the only ones entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.   

    • Also important to remember: all humans are capable of acting a fool, particularly when tangled up in emotions: fear, pride, insecurity, etc. Remember what i said about the lizard brain, instinct for survival, and scarcity mindset? Unfortunately, I see that played out daily in American politics. We’re all in this together, muddling through the best we can.

  • Thank you all!

• Thank you all!

My latest guest is one [mc]cool cat.

I first met Tyler McCool a few years ago while shooting a wedding with my sister in gorgeous upstate New York. He was the videographer and was serving major good vibes: fun, friendly, focused, and…chill (for once in my life, I ran out of F words!).

We’ve stayed connected through Instagram since then, and Tyler’s account is one of my faves. He’s a fellow creative who knows how to have a good time. His talent runs wide and deep - just like our conversation. When he’s not making me laugh, he’s making me think: with his art, his poetry, his funny responses to my Insta stories…

I hit him with some questions, and he delivered. We talk creating, living, loving, and evolving.

Enjoy.

You can find Tyler online (www.mccoolmedia.com) or on Instagram (@mccooltyler)

In this gorgeous episode, I talk to my stunning amiga Lacey Frost.

Lacey sparkles from the inside out and is like pure sunshine for the soul. She reminds me of a Disney princess: show-stopping beauty with a heart of gold.

Lacey bravely shares how she maintains an elevated perspective throughout her continuing fertility journey, and what life lessons she’s learned along the way.

She also tells us how she helps others find beauty through her success as a makeup artist and Maskcara representative. She is exceptional at seeing and acknowledging beauty in others.

She’s a true inspiration.

You can find Lacey on Instagram @lacefrost (she does fabulous makeup tutorials)!

Who do you call when anxiety levels are rising and people are feeling more uneasy than ever? Even the Ghostbusters would tell you to call the Social Ninjas!

Though my two guests, Kyle and Jeremy, topically focus on social anxiety, this episode applies to all types of anxiety, let’s be real - life in general!

If you’re seeking something to ground you and help you reframe your current situation…this is it. This is for YOU.

You can listen to The Social Ninjas Podcast on all podcast platforms and follow them on Instagram @the_social_ninjas

You can find Kyle on Instagram @social_anxiety_kyle and Jeremy @jeremytalkstostrangers

In this episode, I sit down with my Greek goddess friend, Christina Purcell. Christina is a fellow creative who does photography and raises two beautiful children - much of the time alone, while her husband, Michael Purcell, is off playing professional football for the Denver Broncos.

We cover the bases with this conversation, talking about everything from motherhood to business to LIFE. Christina also shares her experience as an NFL wife, with all the uncertainty, juggling, and shuffling that brings (let’s just say - much respect!).

Christina is a straight talker with a huge heart, and you’ll see why I adore her.

You can find her on Instagram at @capturedbychristina

xx,

-w-

This year, I again had the honor of speaking at The Women’s Networking Group monthly gathering, founded by my good friend (and previous pod guest) Brianne Sloan.

Last time, I spoke on boundaries (you can listen on episode 8 posted 02/03/2019). This time, I spoke on releasing judgment.

What a relevant topic, huh? One that applies to ALL of us. Truly. Whether we’re judging or being judged - it’s our reality. This episode isn’t about shaming yourself/others for judging, nor is it about eliminating judgment entirely. Let’s be kind to ourselves, and let’s be real with ourselves. My objective with this episode is to explain why judgment happens, and to offer different ways of viewing yourself and others - all to inspire understanding, compassion, and acceptance. Only by understanding judgment can we transcend it and reclaim our power from it.

Thank you for listening.

This episode features a recent amiga I made while in Nashville last year on a girls’ trip for my birthday.

One thing that struck me about Nashville was the beautiful, friendly energy the women there emitted. They were exceptionally generous with their smiles and compliments, and my guest Jessica Dinan (and her friend, Alexis) are perfect representatives of that southern charm.

My friend Julie (whom I interviewed on episode 16) and I met Jessica and Alexis at this rad “speakeasy” in Nashville. Get this: to access this place, you knock on the side door in a dark alley, and then wait for a guy to let you in (one person/group at a time). Upon entering, you’re greeted with dim lighting and a cool, artistic vibe. You wait in a lounge area until someone comes and chats with you, asking you questions and getting to know you, to create an artisan cocktail tailored to your tastes and personality (he nailed it, btw - fresh and spicy, just like I like it!).

We ended up sitting next to Jessica and Alexis and forming a fast, easy connection, bonding over girl power and good vibes, and celebrating each other’s accomplishments.

Of course we all became Instagram buds, through which we stay connected, and I was psyched when Jessica agreed to come on the pod.

In this episode, we chat about owning your shine. Clapping for others AND yourself. Realizing there’s plenty to go around. Jessica shares how ambition, action, resilience, and hard work yielded professional and personal success.

It’s a fun, refreshing, empowering conversation.

xx,

-w-

In this episode, I sit down with Darren Hansen for a dynamic, fun, and informational conversation. Darren is the owner and head coach of Hansen Athletics, where he and his coaches deliver customized strength and conditioning training to not just athletes, but anyone who wants to be their best self. As Darren highlights, the physical aspect is only part of it. True self optimization happens by showing up for yourself, getting your mind right, dialing in your rest and nutrition, knowing your power, and keeping it SIMPLE.

This episode offers something for everyone, regardless of your current fitness level. If you’re a human and are interested in leveling up and FEELING good - this is for you.

Darren is a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist, has a BS in Exercise Science, and is a certified USAW-National Coach.

Find Hansen Athletics:

Blog/apparel/podcast: www.hansenathletics.com

Instagram: @hansenathletics

Facebook: HansenAthletics

YouTube: HansenAthletics

HansenAthletics Podcast: Spotify | iTunes | website

Find Darren:

Instagram @coachdarrenh

Twitter @CoachDarrenH

What a powerful and illuminating episode this is! Parris Hodges and I go wide and deep in this wide-ranging and transformative conversation. Parris is a remarkable and inspirational human who has overcome a great deal and is committed and exceptional at empowering not only herself, but others. I applaud and appreciate her willingness to share as openly as she does, and she does so to connect with and help others.

We discuss identifying and understanding the stories we tell ourselves, taking ownership of our lives and healing, accessing our power, reframing situations and extracting value, soliciting feedback, detaching from things beyond our control, embracing shadow work and growth, and finding joy through it all.

Parris radiates light and love and is someone with whom I connect on the deepest of levels. Our lives and experience are vastly different yet eerily parallel, which just goes to show how connected we all are, no matter the individual journey.

I hope you find this valuable.

Thank you for listening.

xx,

-w-

You can find Parris on Social Media:

Instagram: @parris.hodges

Facebook: Parris Hodges

Photos by me

When it comes to fitness, how do I know when to power through and when to rest? How do I know if I’m doing too much? Is it possible to actually like working out? What are tips for staying motivated? What are aspects of fitness I might be overlooking? How can I feel better as I get older?

If you’ve ever had these questions, you’re in the right place. In this episode, I sit down with the powerhouse Jen Simmons of Jriven Fitness to address these and so many more! Jen has many certifications, among which are: NASM CPT; LPTA; USA Level 1.

And we don’t just restrict it to the world of working out. We also discuss business, goals, and inspiration - like how Jen decided to go for it and open her own gym (which has been a smashing success).

It’s a fun, free-flowing, motivational, and knowledge-packed conversation that leaves you feeling PUMPED.

You can find Jen:

Instagram: 

@coachjensimmons

@jrivenfitness

Website:

www.jrivenfitness.com

Images by Tara Tracy Photography

In this episode, I sit down with a soul sister of mine, Brianne Sloan. Though our conversation was diversified, a common thread tying it all together was connecting with others and with yourself. This includes personal empowerment and interpersonal empowerment, through loving and respecting yourself and others and taking action. We discuss body neutrality, life lessons, and how to be a nice human.

She is a multi-faceted creator and connector. As the founder of the Women’s Networking Group, she “approaches networking differently, relaxed and intuitively.” (You know I’m all about living intuitively!) As a photographer and artist, she offers a beautiful and unique perspective on the world, its beauty, and its beautiful people. As a mother, she nurtures love, curiosity, and empathy.

Bri is a force in every way. She’s remarkably talented, she’s driven, she’s strong (mentally and physically), she’s empathetic, she’s intelligent, she’s accomplished, she’s fun, she’s generous…I could keep going for dayzzz.

We invite you to listen in on our wide-ranging discussion, and feel inspired to show yourself and others some L O V E.

Find Brianne on Instagram: @brisloanphotography || @thewomensnetworkinggroup
or on Facebook: @Brianne Sloan || @The Women’s Networking Group

x,

-w-

In this episode, I sit down with fellow high viber Caren (pronounced sair-en) DeCesaris.

Caren and I first connected when she contacted me on Instagram and asked me to be her first guest on her own rad podcast, SoulSpeak (check it out meow!).

In this episode, Caren opens up about her journey to self empowerment, respect, and love. She shares her history with disordered eating and how she found her way back to honoring and connecting with her body.

It’s a deep yet light-hearted session, and one I think you’ll really enjoy. (Plus, she has the melodic voice of a Disney princess, so there’s that).

You can find Caren:

• On Instagram: @carendecesaris

• On iTunes: SoulSpeak The Podcast

• Online: http://www.thesoulspeakco.com/

Peace and blessings,

-w-

Images by Whitney Richardson Photography

In this relatable episode, I sit down with Gage Horne, a stellar videographer and all-around solid guy. (He also shot my brand video for The Nativist.)

We hit multiple topics, but the common threads are honesty and authenticity. We discuss how to have the hard conversations with your partner and yourself (this part might surprise you) and how to bridge communication gaps and eliminate walls with others. We also advocate the strength demonstrated by expressing your emotions, and the importance of reliability. 

Find Gage at:

https://www.gagehornestudios.com/

Instagram: @gagehornestudios

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH8vLKFQk507EpJGP83YNRw

Facebook: Gage Horne Studios

This episode is for you if:

• You feel lost without a passion/purpose

• You feel burned out

• You feel sick of people/SOCIETY urging you to hustle/push hard/find your passion/get that “bread”

• You feel ashamed/guilty for being satisfied with the “simple life”

If you relate to any of the above, I dedicate this episode to Y O U.

-w-

This is a particularly powerful episode, and one I’ve wanted to do for awhile. I sit down with Sydnie Hammon, who bravely shares her story on living with anxiety and depression, as well as the aftermath of her recent suicide attempt. In honor of Suicide Awareness Month, we tackle the stigma-saturated subject of mental health - a topic that is increasingly relevant and important.

This is an episode for everyone, as mental health affects every single one of us. Comprehensive health includes mental health. Even if you personally have not experienced mental illness as of now, you likely know someone who has/does/will. And this episode isn’t just about mental illness, it’s about mental health in general, and how to nurture it.

We discuss contributing factors, possible red flags, and helpful resources. We offer guidance on holding space for others and yourself, what/what not to say to those facing tough times, and how to love yourself and others through it all.

Please - I strongly urge you to listen. And Sydnie and I are always always here for you if you need.

Find Sydnie on Instagram at @sydniiieee

Resources:

• Suicide Prevention Hotline 24/7

  • Chat or call 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

• National Institute of Mental Health

  • Crisis Text Line (text HELLO to 741741)

• The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

• The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav

Love you all,

-w-

This is the second part to the two-part Baring Whitness podcast episode where I sit down with my amiga Veronica and answer whatever questions she throws my way.

The rawness continues. We hit a range of topics, including my biggest fear (it’s a little unconventional), my game changers, and how I achieved the mindset I have now.

Hope you enjoy.

xx,

-w-

Find Veronica on Instagram at @veronicasidahome