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D O it T O it
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography

Images by Brooke Richardson Photography

Either you run the day or the day runs you.

You and I, we live in a fast-paced world. It doesn't matter if you're a stay-at-home parent running a household or a boss babe (or bro) in a business suit slaying the corporate world, we all have things we need to do; and most of us have a LOT of them. Learning how to manage it all and stay productive is key.

If you're like me, you're alllll 'bout dem to-do lists. Committing to dos to a physical/digital list brings me relief for a few reasons:

  • Eliminates my concern I'll forget them 
    • Especially the future, non-immediate tasks/ideas
  • Allows me to organize and prioritize my plan of attack
  • Tethers them to a structured framework instead of floating around in my head causing anxiety
  • Allows me to focus

I swear, my mind has approximately 167 tabs open at any given time (times two, when I'm trying to fall asleep, ya feel?!), as I'm sure many of you can relate. I have various ventures going on and balls in the air, and my brain is constantly assessing what needs to be done and generating ideas for progression. I mean, CONSTANTLY. In a word, it can be E X H A U S T I N G, but I wouldn't have it any other way. My brain doesn't work in a linear fashion (which can make certain tasks challenging and overwhelming). But it's me, it's the way my brain works, and I've learned how to work with it! Lists are a key element of that. They allow me to compartmentalize my life/to dos and break them down into manageable bites. As they say, the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. [Side question: Why elephants? I ain't tryna eat a sweet, gentle elephant. Why can't it just be a really large watermelon? Are we all agreed? Cool.]

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Anyway. Back to lists.

I recently finished reading Smarter Faster Better by Charles Duhigg, an excellent book on management and leadership (he also wrote Power of Habit, which I read prior to diving into Smarter Faster Better and blogged about earlier; both are fantastic). He has a great way of presenting studies and supporting evidence in an easily digestible way through a narrative method. He sprinkles in relevant stories and examples to scaffold his assertions and illustrate his points so it's not so, you know, friggin' dull.

So in his book he advises using stretch goals. These are lofty goals that you have to, you know, stretch for (apt term, right?). This helps you really maximize your potential and evolve, to truly promote productivity and personal growth (all good things). However, having a list of solely stretch goals isn't stellar, because we neeeed bursts of feelings of accomplishment to help us stay focused, committed, and motivated. Quick little high fives and butt slaps to help us feel like we're doing well and progressing. These help fill our tanks to keep us going on our journey to ultimate fulfillment. 

The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule but to schedule your priorities.
— Stephen Covey

Ideally, our lists will include a series of short-term, achievable proximal goals (not too lofty/out of reach/far off) via the SMART system:

  • S: Specific
  • M: Measurable:
  • A: Achievable
  • R: Realistic
  • T: Time-bound

For example, let's say you aspire to de-clutter your house. Here's how you could incorporate the SMART method:

  • Specific: Focus on one room, e.g. kitchen
  • Measurable: Decrease items/appliances on counter to a certain amount, such as six, and de-junk five kitchen drawers
  • Achievable: Adjust the scope to your *realistic* timeframe, schedule, and energy level. Maybe only focus on just the counters and a couple of drawers. Adjusting the scope will help break it down into doable bites to help you from feeling overwhelmed from the task, and frustrated if you don't complete it within the designated time.
  • Realistic: Don't aim for a complete kitchen makeover in one afternoon. 
  • Time-bound: Set your timer for two hours. This will hold you to a deadline and keep you accountable.
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There’s a huge difference between working on something and working towards something.
— Pat Flynn

Some of Duhigg's advice that was new for me was to avoid listing easy items you can check off right away, just for that feel goodness. As he avers, that signals you're using it for mood repair, not productivity. In other words, by doing so, you're more focused on making yourself feel awesome than actually getting shiz done. I mean, yeah, duh, we all want to feel awesome BUT...we'll feel even MORE awesome by amplifying productivity.

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Focus on being productive instead of busy.
— Tim Ferriss

As Duhigg explains, the problem with many to-do lists is when we write down a series of short-term objectives, we're allowing our brains to seize on the sense of satisfaction each task will deliver. We're encouraging our need for closure and our tendency to freeze on a goal without asking if it's the right aim. The result is we spend hours answering unimportant emails instead of writing a big thoughtful memo - because it feels so satisfying to clean out our box. But then...we still feel the bigger task(s) weighing on us, which we ignored. 

As Peter Drucker notes in The Effective Executive (another superb read): 

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.
— Peter Drucker

In other words, work smarter, not harder! We have limited time each day, so we need to make the most of it. By prioritizing our to-do lists and choosing our tasks with care, we'll maximize our 24 hours and handle our days like the ballers we are.

xx,

-w-

Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four-hour days.

 

 

 

 

 

 

L E T it G O
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography

Images by Brooke Richardson Photography

Newsflash, y'all: We're human! This means we lose our cool. We get impatient, sad, and unreasonable. We snap at people and occasionally act a fool. We sometimes feel anxious, fearful, and unsure.

We've all been there! We all get it. It's not something for which we should hide or criticize ourselves. It's all part of the human experience, amigos. 

The key lies in how quickly and effectively we can get back to good. How speedily we can release those negative vibes and return to those good vibes. 

Exercise the letting go muscle: the healing is in the return, not in never having wandered to begin with.
— Sharon Salzberg

Salzberg is a New York Times best-selling author and teacher of Buddhist meditation practices in the West. Cool lady, I'll tell you that. As she indicates, our "wandering" from peace and happiness is not the focus; rather, it's the return that matters. We're all going to wander - some of us less often, some of us more often, than others. Forget about the frequency. Focus on strengthening the "return" muscle. The more we train and use it, the stronger it gets. The faster and more often you can let go and release those negative emotions, the better you'll get at it. 

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The art of concentration is a continual letting go.
— Sharon Salzberg

Letting go can be tough stuff. It could be letting go of a toxic thought, a resentful feeling, self shame or guilt, frustration, worry, rage, whatever. Sometimes it's not just a snap of the fingers to bring instant relief. It's important to feel those negative emotions (so they don't become repressed and fester), and then let that shiz go. The secret is self compassion. Maybe you made a mistake (yelled at your kids, or wrongly accused your friend) and feel awful about it. It's okay! Genuinely apologize if necessary (if the situation calls for it), make amends if you need to, and move the heck on. Come back into balance with kindness toward yourself. This makes the process faster and restorative. 

Meditation trains the mind the way physical exercise trains the body.
— Sharon Salzberg

Same concept if you're meditating. If you've ever dabbled in it, you know how challenging it can be! It's not about sitting there in perfect, no-thought bliss. Your head will likely be swimming with thoughts, like, "I'm hungry." "I'm tired." "Oh, shoot, I have to buy a birthday present for my friend. I hope I remember to do that!" "How long has it been?" And on and on and ON. But as Superstar Salzberg advises, "The healing is in the return." That right there is why you're meditating: to get better at returning to peace. And if your thoughts keep coming, great! More opportunities to strengthen that "return" muscle and get crazy buff. 

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This universe is much too big to hold onto, but it is the perfect size for letting go.
— Sharon Salzberg

And if anxiety is your thing? Letting go is the antidote! This takes time to master, but once you get the hang of it - it's a beautiful thing. Utterly miraculous. When you're fearful/anxious, you're trusting in your own strength. When you're at ease, you're trusting in the strength of the higher power (God/Universe/Allah/whomever). My favorite mantra recently is: "I relax. I let go. My life is in perfect flow." I repeat this to myself over and over when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Let me tell you, it really comes in clutch every night when I lie down to sleep and have a zillion thoughts sprinting through my head. It grounds and calms my thoughts, serving as a focal point to instantly relax me. Try it!  

xx,

-w-

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I am M E and Y O U are Y O U
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography

Images by Brooke Richardson Photography

I’m not beautiful like you. I’m beautiful like me.

Heads up: This is a deeply personal post. Like...I'm about to get reallllyyy real witchu. And you know what? I'm not nervous, or scared, or self conscious. If people read this and think of me differently, I'm okay with that. I'm solid no matter how people perceive me. Vulnerability no longer intimidates me like it used to. Part of that is because I have the best, most supportive people in my life (including you!). But also - I've made peace with what I'm about to share with you! True, lasting peace. I feel solid and great and compelled to share my story to hopefully help others achieve that peace too.

Two things prevent us from happiness: living in the past and observing others.

That doesn't mean I'm going to bare all - a girl's gotta have some secrets! I personally feel there's a time and a place to share your story/stories. Ideally, you'd have a purpose (seeking comfort in a confidant, inspiring others, relating to others, etc), so hopefully you find value in this tell all I'm about to throw down.

Okay, okay, enough prefacing...

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Like most people - especially girls - I have insecurities. Earth shattering, I know (stop eye rolling and stay with me, this isn't my big reveal!).  It's part of the human experience. I accept that and just love myself through them anyway, refusing to let them hold me back. I vanquish them by fully embracing them.

A rose can never be a sunflower, and a sunflower can never be a rose. All flowers are beautiful in their own way, and that’s like women too.
— Miranda Kerr

But it wasn't always like that. One insecurity in particular was my feeling of inferiority regarding my sister. If you know my sister, Brooke, you obvi know how stunningly beautiful she is, and fun and talented and and and and... She is a total dime piece. 

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It's a wonder we're so close, because we're polar opposites. She quickly decides, I slowly analyze. She hates working out, I'm gaga about fitness. She's the comfort queen, I suffer for fashion. And on and on. We're three years apart, so back when we were growing up, after elementary we never attended the same school, which allowed us to form our own identities - and those identities were pretty different. 

I think a lot of people compare their insides to other people’s outsides.
— Emma Stone

Then came college, when we officially became peers. We started hanging out with each other, running around with the same people...and dating within the same circles. If you have a sister/close friend, you know this can get messy. Luckily there were only one or two guys we mutually liked (draaaaama drama drama). 

You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and you’re still going to find someone who hates peaches.
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However, I soon started to feel swept into her shadow, which soon became a prison for me. I felt like she was prettier, smarter, funnier, better...and I felt like a L O S E R in comparison. Slowly I started to retreat into myself, and acted like I felt. My vibe started getting lower and lower and would just radiate that low energy. I hated going out with her, because I would feel like the DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend - go watch the movie - it's cheesy but I love it!).

Comparison is a slippery slope to envy.

I'd brace myself for the inevitable, "Your sister is so beautiful/cool/fun" comments, each one like daggers to the heart (I know i know - dramatic much?). Honestly though, I physically felt each casual comment like that. I can't tell you how many times I left outings early, feeling so dejected and insecure. I realize that merely reading about my experience may not impart the same severe despondency I felt but y'all - it was absolutely GNARLY. Let's just say it was a pretty sick workout journaling all my feelings! (And before I go further, I want to note: I LOVE MY SISTER. Anytime I would vent to her, she was incredibly loving and supportive.)

You’re never going to be ‘her’ or look like ‘her.’ GOOD. We would miss out on you!

It went on like this for years. I was a slave to my insecurity. Anytime someone would hit that nerve, I would immediately react, usually emotionally and harshly. Brooke is pretty vocal and outspoken. I can be too, but my natural instinct is to balance dynamics, so when I'm with her I'm usually quieter and more reserved. This further fueled the fire, leading me to feel even more like a supporting actress to her leading lady. I remember getting so upset when people would constantly refer to The Paper Doll Boutique (the store we used to own and run together) as Brooke's business. Sure, I understood that much of what drove that assumption was Brooke's physical and vocal presence. She was manning the store during the day, welcoming customers and handling much of the admin issues. I was only there in the evenings, after finishing up at my full-time job during the day. Plus, you definitely know when Brooke is in the room! She's fantastic at meeting and relating to people. 

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One of the final straws was when I was talking to a colleague friend of mine (at my full-time job) about wanting to ask our store's landlord for something. This friend advised having Brooke ask the landlord instead, because Brooke has the looks and charm to make it happen. As you can imagine, this made me feel less than stellar. After the colleague sensed she'd hit a nerve and tried doing damage control, I confided I understood she meant no harm, but it was a sensitive topic for me. Still attempting to mitigate the damage, she added, "I know it has to be hard growing up under her shadow and never feeling like you're enough. One day that won't matter that you're not as charming or pretty." (Again - she honestly meant no harm.)

It finally clicked for me: it wasn't about me at all. I knew my friend had a parallel experience with her older sister. She was viewing my situation through a lens tainted by her own insecurities. She was seeing herself in me. Anything she was telling me, she was essentially telling herself. IT WASN'T ABOUT ME AT ALL. I'd already known on an intellectual level that people's interactions with and perceptions of you are colored by their own issues and self doubts. Somehow - that kick in the gut really solidified that truth for me. 

Your perception of me is a reflection of you; my reaction to you is an awareness of me.

I decided to work on reclaiming my confidence and power I'd given away all those years. The truth is, I let myself feel inferior. Trust me, I'm not criticizing myself - I acknowledge this with a full amount of love and compassion toward myself. But the bottom line remains: I have power over my thoughts and emotions. I have SO MUCH to offer, and I was wasting it by losing myself in comparison. I was determined to reignite my spark.

The truth is, comparing ourselves to others doesn’t just steal our joy, it robs those around us of the rare gift of someone who has learned to offer their uniqueness to the world.
Stay in your lane. Comparison kills creativity and joy.
— Brene Brown

Okay, I'm about to get all Tony Robbins/Oprah/lovey dovey on you. You still with me? Each one of us has a sparkle to share with the world. I 100% believe that and am desperate for everyone to know that too. And I mean, REALLY know that - to your core. 

Don’t compare your real life to someone else’s controlled online content.

It's alarmingly easy to become consumed by comparison, especially with the social media highlight reels we're ambushed with on the daily. I'm constantly having to bitch slap self doubts that try to slither in my thoughts: "Oh, she's so creative. How did she execute that? She's so much more skilled than I am.." "She's a friggin' business prodigy, and she's only 22? Wish I would've been that astute at that age." "She's a millionaire before age 30? Dayumm, how would that be?" 



Just because they reached certain milestones before you did doesn’t mean you won’t get there, too. There are enough houses, marriages, dogs, money, cars, jobs, and vacations to go around.

The more watchful and protective I've become over my thoughts, the more agile and adept I am at keeping them happy and pure and free of dem low vibez. I've conditioned myself to be GENUINELY happy for others' success and blessings, without feeling like it diminishes my own. "That guy has a thriving business and blissful relationship? THAT'S AWESOME!" "That girl has legs for days and a contagious personality? What a babe!" Their success is not my failure! I've learned to view the world through an abundance mindset (more on this in a later post). There isn't a finite amount of money/success/blessings to go around. Yo - we can A L L be happy and successful and beautiful! There's plenty for all of us. What a concept! 

Comparison isn’t just the thief of joy, it’s the thief of EVERYTHING. Keep your eyes on your purposeful path. Celebrate others. Celebrate progress, not perfection. Cultivate gratitude over comparison. Gratitude turns what we have into more than enough.

So let's celebrate our differences. Celebrate ourselves. Celebrate EACH OTHER. We can all rock at the same time!

xx,

-w-

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I A M pretty part deux
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography

Images by Brooke Richardson Photography

Why are middle school girls skipping the awkward stage and going straight to pretty? No, no, you get braces and wear blue eyeshadow. You do your time.

I don't know about you, but I'm progressively amazed at how "mature" teenagers look these days. And no, it's not because I'm getting older. It's because the teenagers of today are night-and-day different from the teenagers of the past! It used to be a rite of passage to take selfies (complete with brace face and cringe-worthy makeup) screaming of adolescent awkwardness. These days, selfies include perfected posing, expertly-applied makeup, and strategized lighting. I'm convinced they added a "Perfecting Your Pouty Face" to the middle school curriculum. NO FAIR. 

My sister and I are continually floored each year when our high school seniors (she photographs, I style) show up already knowing how to move their bodies and pose. They know their angles, they nail the fake laugh, they slay the smize (smiling with your eyes)... It's a whole new breed.

A really good amiga recently shared a Beauty Redefined article titled Save Your Girls From Instagram (linked below and in the blog's Resources). A must read for everyone, especially parents.

The article spotlights the message society (which includes you and me!) sends our youth, particularly our young women. Here's a little taste:


You exist for others’ viewing pleasure. Your happiness and self worth [are] directly connected to your ability to command increasing likes, follows, and DMs. Your beauty is defined by specific ideals set constantly out of reach and ever changing. [Your] joy will come from documenting perfectly poised, styled, and edited images of your experiences - not the experiences themselves. Your looks are your most valuable asset. Your body will earn you love, popularity, and self esteem.

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I mean...where do I even start with this? So much to dissect! And it's spot freaking on, is it not?!

Here are some questions to ask ourselves:

  • When looking at a new account, how many times do you peek at the person's followers, to secretly know just how much credit/respect/social media cred to assign that person?
  • How many of you monitor your own likes and followers, feeling jazzed when you get more? 
  • How many times have you been out with friends/on a date/on a vacation/etc and focused on exactly how to curate a shot so you can post it on social media? (Because if you don't 'gram it, did it even really happen?) You're more intent on making it appear as if you're having the time of your life, than actually having the time of your life.
  • How many times while standing in the checkout line have you seen women's magazine covers advising us on how to "Embrace those curves, Mama (pg. 15)" then instructing on how to "Drop 15 to get that summer body you've always wanted (pg. 16)"? (Mixed message much??? Especially when they then offer a delicious cake recipe on pg. 17!!)

Do any of these questions resonate with you? I know they do with me. 

Sure, we can blame social media for objectifying females, but the truth is, we receive/send similar messages every day: through the way we talk to/about each other (little ears are often listening!), the way females give/receive validation and respect, the way we define health/fitness (visible abs do NOT always equal a healthy, fit body!), the way we try to attract romantic attention... Few and far between are the guys who slide into my DMs telling me what a "sweet spirit" I have. But we can't really just vilify the dudes because we're A L L part of the society which perpetuates this image-centric message. And a major conduit for this message is social media.

Social media is powerful, right? Don't get me wrong, it offers an array of benefits. It can connect like-minded individuals and twin souls (romantic/platonic). People you normally wouldn't have crossed paths with otherwise. It cultivates friendships, nourishes visions, ignites movements, sparks ideas, facilitates partnerships. But it also can send a dangerous message: that what you look like matters most. From celebrities advertising flat tummy teas, to "fitness" influencers guiding you how to transform from flab to fab, to beauty advocates teaching you how to "glow up" (all accompanied by body-baring, perfectly-poised pictures because those get the most likes) - it all solidifies the message that your image is your identity, and your source of value/worth. 

I mean, H E L L O - it's hard enough growing up and navigating puberty. But to do it in a time where beauty standards have been raised to supermodel heights - forget about it! Being constantly inundated with images of peers who have *seemingly* achieved those standards - it's beyond defeating and exhausting and disgusting. And dangerous. So so dangerous. Hence the rising rates of suicide, and bullying, and depression. 

PARENT PSA (public service announcement): Even if you spend considerable time on social media, you have no idea to what kids are really exposed. They are savvier than you are, and targeted with ideals and messages you aren't. As the article asserts:

 

We are here to promise you that the burden of objectification that will be placed upon your daughter’s shoulders is much, much heavier than the burden you will carry by encouraging her to stay off Instagram. Even if everyone else is on.

The article provides pros and cons for parents to consider, questions to discuss with their kids, and suggested rules for social media usage (should parents decide to allow it). Even if you don't have kids, I highly recommend reading the article, because it affects us all. None are immune.

So let's start a revolution, by first loving ourselves (see previous post for inspo!) and encouraging and allowing others to love themselves. Let's change how we talk to ourselves, how we talk to others, and how we talk about others. Let's emphasize good hearts and kind souls instead of tight bunz and toned legs. Let's promote intelligence and good vibes over beauty and looks.

And this isn't to say you have to choose between liking fashion/makeup and being a good person. Hell no! I mean, look at me - I style clients to look and feel their best, and have a whole blog section dedicated to style. To me, it's a form of art and self-expression. Where it becomes bad news is when you're unable to separate your identity from your image; when what you look like and the attention you receive control your emotions and feelings of self worth; when you let beauty standards/others' opinions keep you from living your life and doing things. For example: Are you one of those people who does juuuust enough at the gym so you can still walk out looking cute? Screw that. That right there is prioritizing your looks over your health. No bueno!! 

Let's all take care of ourselves and one another. Deal?!

https://beautyredefined.org/save-your-girls-from-instagram/ 

xx,

-w-

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I A M pretty
Beauty starts in your head, not your mirror.
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Do you remember when you were five and you didn't give a flying f*** what you looked like in a swimmy? You were just jazzed to be soaking up those rays. You didn't care about appearing a certain way or emitting a certain vibe. You were just YOU. 

So what the hell happened?

Somehow from childhood to adulthood, we start caring. We start caring a LOT. 

If you're lucky, you learn to stop the madness (or at least mitigate it). You learn to reclaim your power. Your self-love. Your confidence. You learn to shift the focus from the superficial to the real. The fleeting (looks) to the forever (soul). As cheesy as it sounds, you concentrate on the interior rather than the exterior. You're more concerned with how you FEEL, and the energy emitted by you/others. That's what really counts, right?!!

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How many rad, fun opportunities have you tainted for yourself by stressing over what you look like? Or worse - how many cool opportunities have you bypassed altogether, because of feeling too fat/ugly/whatever other self-loathing adjective you can think of. I know I have. And it's total bullshit. E N O U G H. 

And I said to my body, softly, “I want to be your friend.” It took a long breath and replied, “I have been waiting my whole life for this.”
— Nayyirah Waheed

I'll be honest, it took me what felt like an eternity to get to the point of full self acceptance. It was a long, gnarly road. I used to hold impossibly high standards for myself, and constantly fought my body at every turn. That shiz is exhausting. I'm sure many of you can relate (which makes me sad!). The shocking reward of finally accepting myself??? I actually look and feel better than ever before! It's like my body breathed a giant sigh of relief and said, "Okay cool - finally, let's play on the same team." It's been awhile now that I feel good in my skin, so I KNOW lasting results are possible!

I found I was more confident when I stopped being someone else’s definition of beautiful and started being my own.
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So what shifted it for me? 

  • Exhaustion
    • Honestly, it drained me and I maxed out. I just got tired of constantly mentally beating the daylights out of myself. SO.NOT.WORTH.IT.
  • Mindfulness and positive self talk
    • First I became aware of my negative thoughts, and then punched them in the face. In other words, I halted them right there, and replaced them with compliments. A lot of it was a "fake it 'til you make it" tactic. If I hated my arms, I would tell myself how much I loved them, and emphasized how strong they are. Ironically, now my arms are one of my FAVE body parts!
  • Gratitude
    • Thanking my body for taking care of me and keeping me alive. Expressing love for it through thought, word, and action. Knowing that contrary to my prior belief, my body really was trying to look out for me and be a team player. Removing that pressure for it to fit a certain beauty ideal really did make all the difference.
  • Focusing on how I felt rather than how I looked
    • Do I feel energetic? Happy? Motivated? If yeses across the board, then I'm solid. If not, I'll focus on the area needing my attention.
  • Self care
    • Wanting to take care of my body to keep it happy and healthy and thriving, not frustrated and starving and self-destructing.
Confidence will make you happier than any diet ever will.

 

  • Intuitive eating and moving
    • By slowly re-learning to tune into my body, I can sense what it wants and deliver. Our bodies are truly miraculous and intelligent. The cleaner your palate (less clogged with packaged frankenfood), the more you can understand what your body is telling you. My body constantly amazes me with its cravings. Time and again, I'll suddenly crave something and then be able to attribute it to a certain reason. For example, I'll crave citrus and then feel the beginnings of a cold that my body was able to fight off. The last time I had blood work done and discovered the minerals/vitamins in which I was deficient, it suddenly made PERFECT sense why I crave my salad every single day: all of the ingredients in there are booming with the vitamins/minerals in which I'm deficient. My body continues to crave those nutrients because it is still healing from malabsorption issues due to prolonged antibiotic use (another story for another day!). 
    • When my body screams for rest, I acquiesce and pump the brakes. This one can be a little tricky to master, knowing when you need to move to feel better and when you really do need to recover. You definitely need one or two rest days a week. Ironically, though I love high-intensity workouts, my body does not. A moderate workout regimen actually helps me look, feel, and perform better. So experiment a little and heed what your body tells you. Remove your ego and let your body be the boss.
Self love is accepting that the body you were given is enough and taking care of your body isn’t the same thing as obsessively manipulating it.
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And the biggest secret of all that eluded me all those years?? CONFIDENCE. How you carry yourself matters FAR MORE than what you actually look like. It's mind blowing how true that is. Think about it. Think about someone you've seen at the beach/pool. They might not (gasp!) have a thigh gap, they might have cellulite, they might be rocking a "plus size" but they are FEELING THEMSELVES. And that instantly makes you feel them too (but, you know...not literally. Unless you're high fiving them for looking so fly).

If someone carries themselves proudly and confidently, that automatically ups their attractiveness. It's like friggin' magic. Try it! And if you're not feeling yourself just yet, fake it 'til you make it, baby. No really. Pretend. Trust me on this.

In a society that profits from your self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.

Sometimes I'll put on a piece of clothing on and think, "Not your best look." Maybe I think it makes me look bigger, or shows off some celly. So I'll make myself wear it anyway. I'm so done with letting my body image hold me back. For example, I wore some leggings to teach Pound the other night that made my thighs look less toned (hello, literal spotlight, while teaching in front of a class!). Plus, as I'm sure many of you can relate: one minute you can feel like a busted can of biscuits, and the next like a svelte supermodel. Like...sometimes even within the same hour. It's b a n a n a s how that works. 

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Awhile ago, I saw the movie I Feel Pretty with Amy Schumer. I went into it expecting cheesiness and forced humor. I was happily so wrong. It was fun, it was funny, it was touching. Highly recommend. 

There is more to say on this topic, but rather than going on for dayzzz about it, I'll split it up into two posts. Thanks for staying with me this far! In the next one, I'll highlight a FANTASTIC article my friend shared with me. You should consider checking out the post if you: 1. have social media. 2. are a parent. 3. are human. We'll discuss how beauty ideals have changed in this brave new world we're living in, which includes social media. Gone are the awkward teenagers, replaced by adolescents who know their angles, know their makeup, and know their sex appeal. I really think you'll be glad you read it. 

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xx,

-w-

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