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Posts tagged work life balance
D O it T O it
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography

Images by Brooke Richardson Photography

Either you run the day or the day runs you.

You and I, we live in a fast-paced world. It doesn't matter if you're a stay-at-home parent running a household or a boss babe (or bro) in a business suit slaying the corporate world, we all have things we need to do; and most of us have a LOT of them. Learning how to manage it all and stay productive is key.

If you're like me, you're alllll 'bout dem to-do lists. Committing to dos to a physical/digital list brings me relief for a few reasons:

  • Eliminates my concern I'll forget them 
    • Especially the future, non-immediate tasks/ideas
  • Allows me to organize and prioritize my plan of attack
  • Tethers them to a structured framework instead of floating around in my head causing anxiety
  • Allows me to focus

I swear, my mind has approximately 167 tabs open at any given time (times two, when I'm trying to fall asleep, ya feel?!), as I'm sure many of you can relate. I have various ventures going on and balls in the air, and my brain is constantly assessing what needs to be done and generating ideas for progression. I mean, CONSTANTLY. In a word, it can be E X H A U S T I N G, but I wouldn't have it any other way. My brain doesn't work in a linear fashion (which can make certain tasks challenging and overwhelming). But it's me, it's the way my brain works, and I've learned how to work with it! Lists are a key element of that. They allow me to compartmentalize my life/to dos and break them down into manageable bites. As they say, the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. [Side question: Why elephants? I ain't tryna eat a sweet, gentle elephant. Why can't it just be a really large watermelon? Are we all agreed? Cool.]

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Anyway. Back to lists.

I recently finished reading Smarter Faster Better by Charles Duhigg, an excellent book on management and leadership (he also wrote Power of Habit, which I read prior to diving into Smarter Faster Better and blogged about earlier; both are fantastic). He has a great way of presenting studies and supporting evidence in an easily digestible way through a narrative method. He sprinkles in relevant stories and examples to scaffold his assertions and illustrate his points so it's not so, you know, friggin' dull.

So in his book he advises using stretch goals. These are lofty goals that you have to, you know, stretch for (apt term, right?). This helps you really maximize your potential and evolve, to truly promote productivity and personal growth (all good things). However, having a list of solely stretch goals isn't stellar, because we neeeed bursts of feelings of accomplishment to help us stay focused, committed, and motivated. Quick little high fives and butt slaps to help us feel like we're doing well and progressing. These help fill our tanks to keep us going on our journey to ultimate fulfillment. 

The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule but to schedule your priorities.
— Stephen Covey

Ideally, our lists will include a series of short-term, achievable proximal goals (not too lofty/out of reach/far off) via the SMART system:

  • S: Specific
  • M: Measurable:
  • A: Achievable
  • R: Realistic
  • T: Time-bound

For example, let's say you aspire to de-clutter your house. Here's how you could incorporate the SMART method:

  • Specific: Focus on one room, e.g. kitchen
  • Measurable: Decrease items/appliances on counter to a certain amount, such as six, and de-junk five kitchen drawers
  • Achievable: Adjust the scope to your *realistic* timeframe, schedule, and energy level. Maybe only focus on just the counters and a couple of drawers. Adjusting the scope will help break it down into doable bites to help you from feeling overwhelmed from the task, and frustrated if you don't complete it within the designated time.
  • Realistic: Don't aim for a complete kitchen makeover in one afternoon. 
  • Time-bound: Set your timer for two hours. This will hold you to a deadline and keep you accountable.
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There’s a huge difference between working on something and working towards something.
— Pat Flynn

Some of Duhigg's advice that was new for me was to avoid listing easy items you can check off right away, just for that feel goodness. As he avers, that signals you're using it for mood repair, not productivity. In other words, by doing so, you're more focused on making yourself feel awesome than actually getting shiz done. I mean, yeah, duh, we all want to feel awesome BUT...we'll feel even MORE awesome by amplifying productivity.

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Focus on being productive instead of busy.
— Tim Ferriss

As Duhigg explains, the problem with many to-do lists is when we write down a series of short-term objectives, we're allowing our brains to seize on the sense of satisfaction each task will deliver. We're encouraging our need for closure and our tendency to freeze on a goal without asking if it's the right aim. The result is we spend hours answering unimportant emails instead of writing a big thoughtful memo - because it feels so satisfying to clean out our box. But then...we still feel the bigger task(s) weighing on us, which we ignored. 

As Peter Drucker notes in The Effective Executive (another superb read): 

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.
— Peter Drucker

In other words, work smarter, not harder! We have limited time each day, so we need to make the most of it. By prioritizing our to-do lists and choosing our tasks with care, we'll maximize our 24 hours and handle our days like the ballers we are.

xx,

-w-

Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four-hour days.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Investing Your Time vs. Spending Your Time
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography

Images by Brooke Richardson Photography

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.
— Henry David Thoreau

Time. The true luxury in life. A resource we can never recover, or re-generate. It is our greatest and most precious resource. We all have 24 hours in a day (even Beyonce!), yet how many of us actually use those 24 hours optimally? How many of us get the very most we can out of each day?? 

Time is what we want most but what we use worst.
— William Penn
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It's not easy! Especially on those days where you're exhausted from working/parenting/adulting. Some days you're 100% spent and just want to park it on the couch and lose yourself in the TV or a book or - lezbehonest - your Instagram feed.. It's completely understandable. However...it's key to remember how you spend your days is how you spend your life. "Just today" turns into "just this week" which morphs into "just this month" and on and on. Pretty soon five years have blown by and you're not any closer to your goals. Your life isn't how you envisioned it would be at this point. 

And here's where our individualities come into play. My goals are likely different from your goals. While one person's goal may be to start and run a successful business, another's goal may be to get healthy, or to spend more quality "unplugged" time with their kiddos, or to cultivate a stress-relieving hobby. 

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How you spend your time is a reflection of your priorities. Pure and simple. If you value something enough, you make time for it. If you don't believe me, what if you were offered one million dollars if you worked out every single day for one hour, for a full month? Would you magically discover you have some time for fitness? Or what if you were promised an all-expense paid trip to the country of your choice if you meditated twice a day for a week straight? Would meditation suddenly get a bump up to the top of your priority list? Think about it...

Guard your time fiercely. Be generous with it, but be intentional about it.
— David Duchemin

A good rule to live by is no matter what you're doing, BE ALL THERE. If you're working out, go all in (no matter if it's an intense lifting/cardio sesh, or restorative yoga, or whatever). If you're meeting with your boss/colleagues/church members, laser in. If you're playing Barbies with your littles, drill down. 

It's alllll about the quality, baby. If you're in the same room as your family/friends/partner, yet are more concerned with peeping your Snapchat than actually connecting with them, you're merely spending your time. If you get to the end of your day and realize...you really have nothing to show for it, you're simply spending your time.  It's just like with money! You get your paycheck, and if you simply spend your remaining money (after handling bills/groceries/etc) on "fun stuff" like dinner out with friends, or movies with your lover, or new clothes/gear/whatever...it's gone. It's spent. However, if you [wisely] invest it...you more often than not will receive a return on your investment, and have something to show for it later (hopefully more than your original amount). Same concept.

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To achieve true success, true balance, true fulfillment in your life, you must invest your time in the people/ventures you know will bring you true happiness. It is entirely possible to attain a real work/life balance, and (spoiler alert!) it doesn't involve working less and playing more, or even splitting it 50/50. It's about being intentional about how you spend your work time, and how you spend your personal time. I'm definitely not one to judge on what unwinding looks like for you, but chances are if you spend all weekend zoning out to The Real Housewives of OC, when Monday rolls around you don't feel re-charged and ready to take Monday by storm. Right??