Addiction Series Part 4: Ally Not Enabler
Another hard-hitting and stellar conversation in my ongoing series on addiction.
Today’s guest is Hallie Hanohano-Erickson, who shares her perspective of a loved one watching her brother and “brother-in-law” experience drug addiction.
Hallie candidly speaks on her emotional evolution, and what she did to help her process and understand the experience. Hallie highlights signs to look for, and realizations to keep in mind. Hallie remarks on how she would have responded differently, knowing what she knows now, and what she’s learned during the journey, such as how to be an ally, not an enabler.
The podcast Hallie references is Last Day by Stephanie Wittels Wachs. The podcast I reference is Armchair Expert, particularly Episode 87 with Johann Hari from March 14, 2019 (exactly two years ago!).
Please excuse the inexplicable “swamp monster” sound you occasionally hear in the background. We tried identifying the cause, but no such luck. If you power through, it’s totally worth it.
Love you.
Thank you for listening and caring.
Addiction Series Part 2: Addicted to Porn
In the second installment of my addiction series, our guest shares his experience being addicted to porn. In the first installment, we heard the perspective of a spouse; this time, we hear directly from the addict. Eric Gallup explains what led him to pornography and his unhealthy relationship with it. He discusses what drove him to pornography, and whether or not it reflected his contentment with his partner and marriage. Eric reflects on how he climbed from rock bottom to the happy, healthy, uplifting, grateful person he is today as a life coach. Not only does this episode highlight addiction truths, but life lessons as well.
You can follow Eric Gallup on Facebook. On there, he also has his Curative Coaching page if you’d like to hire him as your life coach.
Opinions Are Like...
Like Salt ’n’ Pepa said, they’re like assholes and everyone has one
It’s true: we all have them. There’s nothing wrong with having them, but it does become problematic when you don’t recognize them for what they are: your opinion.
In this solo episode that’s ever relevant in this increasingly polarized environment, I clarify what an opinion is and isn’t; I discuss what drives opinions and how to change them…and release the need to change them; I cover addressing misperceptions; I remark on respecting, asserting, and receiving opinions; I touch on differentiating among our individual realities; and I offer guidance on striking the balance between speaking your truth and considering others’.
A major reason why I ask so many questions: on here, on social media, in life is to learn and share new perspectives and different angles; to open eyes, hearts, and minds; to learn from each other; and to connect to ourselves and others.
Opinions are valuable, but they’re not universal.
Let’s remember: the world is changed by what we do, not by what we think.
Discrimination Series Part 2: Listening and Learning
In the second episode exploring discrimination, I talk with Akilah Lacey, a police officer who offers a unique and valuable perspective on his experiences and outlook on discrimination as a law enforcement officer and member of a biracial marriage in a predominantly white, conservative community.
Akilah describes what it was like transitioning from Watts to Orange County to Pocatello, Idaho, and how he bridges the gap while straddling two worlds in this current charged climate. We discuss the importance of awareness, perspective, open mindedness, communication, and empathy. We highlight the importance of listening to learn and understand, and the necessity of taking accountability for our actions.
Discrimination Series Part 1:
It’s generally accepted that discrimination exists. We may disagree on on how/where/when/why discrimination manifests, but people for the most part acknowledge it’s there. Many are recently awakening to how deep and prevalent it is.
It is not enough to be non-discriminatory. We must be anti-discriminatory.
I for one know I could step it up. Yes, I’m acutely aware - and have been for essentially my whole life - of pervasive and persistent racism and discrimination. Yes, I continually research and educate myself on the topic. Seek perspectives. Self reflect and ask myself hard questions. Consider the micro and macro pictures/factors. Express outrage and disgust when talking to others. But if I’m honest with myself…that’s the bare minimum. I can - and will - do more. This is me trying to pull my weight.
It’s not enough to be privately anti-racist/sexist/etc. Clearly, that hasn’t moved the needle enough. We must be publicly and actively so. If you’re unsure of how to go about that, you’re in the right place. Come with me as we dive into this, by asking questions, considering views, sharing resources, and assessing possibilities. Follow along on this account/my blog/podcast. Human power. ✊✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿
Self Love
This is another episode per request. Though it’s a topic that’s often discussed…it’s still just as relevant and necessary.
And let’s be straight: Self love isn’t always about massages and candlelit baths. Sometimes it’s about tough love. Digging in and doing shadow work. Calling yourself on your bullshit. Identifying and eliminating your toxic habits. As with everything in life, balance is crucial and boundaries aren’t just to apply to other people. They’re not just interpersonal - they should be intrapersonal as well.
I talk about how self love looks like:
Recognizing and releasing toxicity - yours and others’
Connecting to yourself
Honoring your basic needs: emotional, physical, mental
Communicating directly and authentically, and letting others do the same (without overanalyzing and assuming people hate you/are mad at you)
Apologizing only for things within your control
Setting boundaries
Asking for what you want/need
Daring to say yes, and daring to say no
Feeling and navigating your emotions
Releasing what you can’t control, and prioritizing what you can
Treating yourself and others with grace and kindness
I hope you find value in this. And I hope you love yourself. Because I sure as hell do.
-w-
EmPOWERment
What a powerful and illuminating episode this is! Parris Hodges and I go wide and deep in this wide-ranging and transformative conversation. Parris is a remarkable and inspirational human who has overcome a great deal and is committed and exceptional at empowering not only herself, but others. I applaud and appreciate her willingness to share as openly as she does, and she does so to connect with and help others.
We discuss identifying and understanding the stories we tell ourselves, taking ownership of our lives and healing, accessing our power, reframing situations and extracting value, soliciting feedback, detaching from things beyond our control, embracing shadow work and growth, and finding joy through it all.
Parris radiates light and love and is someone with whom I connect on the deepest of levels. Our lives and experience are vastly different yet eerily parallel, which just goes to show how connected we all are, no matter the individual journey.
I hope you find this valuable.
Thank you for listening.
xx,
-w-
You can find Parris on Social Media:
Instagram: @parris.hodges
Facebook: Parris Hodges
The Silhouette of Fear with Thunderstorm Artis
Thunderstorm Artis
He’s an old soul with new music. Everything about Thunderstorm Artis emanates depth and soul, from his name to his music. When I first heard him sing, I stopped what I was doing and lost myself in it for a good 1/2 hour. He’s that good. He took time amid his traveling and touring to share his cool story and talk life. We dig into everything from reframing your fears to connecting with others to facing your shadows to impacting the world to developing your voice (in more ways than one).
My guess is by the end you’ll feel both zen and motivated. What more could you want?
Find him on YouTube, Spotify, and Instagram (@thunderstormartis). You can also find some of his music under his brother, Ron Artis II on Spotify. Thunderstorm has an EP album, Haunted.
B O U N D A R I E S
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography
This was a presentation I provided for the Women’s Networking Group. For those unable to attend, I got yo back - I recorded me giving the same speech!
In this episode, I discuss the importance of setting personal and professional boundaries. It heavily draws from a previous blog post I wrote on the criticality of boundaries in exercising true, lasting compassion.
I hope you love.
xx,
-w-
letting go for dear life with B R A D Y
No doubt about it, Brady is a man with soul and depth. One peek at his Instagram account, @bradytildeath , and you’ll see exactly what I mean.
His desire and ability to empower and connect with others are rare, and his messages are powerful and thought-provoking.
In this episode, our wide-ranging conversation includes the liberation of self awareness, the impact of compassion, and the necessity of risk.
Do yourself a favor and listen.