5,4,3,2,1...BLAST OFF
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography
Do you know what you need to do to be healthy? To be productive? To be fit? To be organized? Do you have a hard time actually doing those things??
Maybe it's getting more rest, or getting up the first time your alarm sounds. Maybe it's incorporating more movement in your day, like taking the stairs at work. Maybe it's organizing that closet, or tackling that project you've been dreading. Maybe it's actually working on making your goals and dreams reality. Whatever it is, sometimes even though we know we need to, we just don't wanna friggin' do it. Sound familiar?
Mel Robbins offers a solution to this problem in her book, The Five Second Rule. When Mel "discovered" the rule, she was in the midst of a dark time in her life. Her career, marriage, finances, and self esteem were all tanking, and she struggled to get out of bed each morning and perform her responsibilities as a mother/wife/friend. Watching a rocket launch one night on TV sparked an idea in her. The next morning when her alarm went off and her finger hovered over the snooze button, she counted backwards to herself: 5,4,3,2,1...and stood up. And just as simple as that, she discovered a method that transformed her life. She started to see opportunities throughout her day in which she could apply the rule.
“The Rule is a simple, research-backed metacognition tool that creates immediate and lasting behavior change.”
Mel was intrigued why such a simple method yielded such profound results - especially when applied to multiple areas of her life. Upon researching it, she learned why it works. The rule leverages and is an example of powerful and proven modern psychology principles: the progress principle, starting rituals, a bias toward action, internal locus of control, behavioral flexibility, the Golden Rule of Habits, authentic pride, deliberate action, "If-Then planning," and activation energy.
- By counting backwards, you mentally shift the gears in your mind. You interrupt your default thinking and assert control.
- The counting distracts you from your excuses and focuses your mind on moving in a new direction.
- It is a "starting ritual" that activates the prefrontal cortex, helping change your behavior (the prefrontal cortex is what you use to focus, change, or take deliberate actions).
- By forcing yourself to act when usually you'd stop yourself by thinking/holding yourself back, you can create remarkable change.
“When you physically move instead of stopping to think, your physiology changes and your mind falls in line.”
The rule works because it is so simple! There are various ways your brain kills your urge to act. Research shows the moment you want to change/break a habit/do something hard or scary, your brain kicks into gear to stop you. Basically, your mind tricks you into thinking through things. The second you start doing this, your thoughts will trap you. Your mind has a million ways to talk you out of acting - that's why it's so dang hard to change!!
Change requires you to do things that are uncertain/scary/new. By design, your brain will try to prevent this. This hesitation happens really fast, so you have to act even faster to beat it.
The rule is somewhat flexible; if you need to shrink it to three seconds (which personally works better for me), then do it!
Here are some other ways you can apply it to your life:
- Raising your hand in a meeting at work and suggesting an idea
- Introducing yourself to that good-looking guy/girl
- Reaching out and making that business contact
- Lacing up your sneaks and exercising when you'd rather...not
- Intentionally redirect your negative thoughts into positivity
- Taking a class or starting a hobby
“What I discovered is powerful: Pushing yourself to take simple actions creates a chain reaction in your confidence and your productivity.”
Investing Your Time vs. Spending Your Time
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography
“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”
Time. The true luxury in life. A resource we can never recover, or re-generate. It is our greatest and most precious resource. We all have 24 hours in a day (even Beyonce!), yet how many of us actually use those 24 hours optimally? How many of us get the very most we can out of each day??
“Time is what we want most but what we use worst.”
It's not easy! Especially on those days where you're exhausted from working/parenting/adulting. Some days you're 100% spent and just want to park it on the couch and lose yourself in the TV or a book or - lezbehonest - your Instagram feed.. It's completely understandable. However...it's key to remember how you spend your days is how you spend your life. "Just today" turns into "just this week" which morphs into "just this month" and on and on. Pretty soon five years have blown by and you're not any closer to your goals. Your life isn't how you envisioned it would be at this point.
And here's where our individualities come into play. My goals are likely different from your goals. While one person's goal may be to start and run a successful business, another's goal may be to get healthy, or to spend more quality "unplugged" time with their kiddos, or to cultivate a stress-relieving hobby.
How you spend your time is a reflection of your priorities. Pure and simple. If you value something enough, you make time for it. If you don't believe me, what if you were offered one million dollars if you worked out every single day for one hour, for a full month? Would you magically discover you have some time for fitness? Or what if you were promised an all-expense paid trip to the country of your choice if you meditated twice a day for a week straight? Would meditation suddenly get a bump up to the top of your priority list? Think about it...
“Guard your time fiercely. Be generous with it, but be intentional about it.”
A good rule to live by is no matter what you're doing, BE ALL THERE. If you're working out, go all in (no matter if it's an intense lifting/cardio sesh, or restorative yoga, or whatever). If you're meeting with your boss/colleagues/church members, laser in. If you're playing Barbies with your littles, drill down.
It's alllll about the quality, baby. If you're in the same room as your family/friends/partner, yet are more concerned with peeping your Snapchat than actually connecting with them, you're merely spending your time. If you get to the end of your day and realize...you really have nothing to show for it, you're simply spending your time. It's just like with money! You get your paycheck, and if you simply spend your remaining money (after handling bills/groceries/etc) on "fun stuff" like dinner out with friends, or movies with your lover, or new clothes/gear/whatever...it's gone. It's spent. However, if you [wisely] invest it...you more often than not will receive a return on your investment, and have something to show for it later (hopefully more than your original amount). Same concept.
To achieve true success, true balance, true fulfillment in your life, you must invest your time in the people/ventures you know will bring you true happiness. It is entirely possible to attain a real work/life balance, and (spoiler alert!) it doesn't involve working less and playing more, or even splitting it 50/50. It's about being intentional about how you spend your work time, and how you spend your personal time. I'm definitely not one to judge on what unwinding looks like for you, but chances are if you spend all weekend zoning out to The Real Housewives of OC, when Monday rolls around you don't feel re-charged and ready to take Monday by storm. Right??
MOVE YA BODY
Let's play a game of true or false. You in? Okay, true or false:
- You've ever felt less than motivated to work out
- You've ever forced yourself through a workout, hating every minute but determined to get that summer bod on lock
- You've ever talked yourself out of exercise and talked yourself into Netflix instead
- You've ever blasted yourself for being lazy...yet somehow that tough love failed to translate into a regular fitness regimen
- You've ever critiqued your body and wanted to change it yet...the thought of doing something about it leaves you feeling hopeless/overwhelmed so you just...don't
- You've ever been too exhausted to work out because LIFE
If you answered "true" to one or more then...welcome to the human club!!! I feel you. I'm a driven and disciplined person and yet...there are days i realllly don't friggin' want to work out. Like really. And the more I try to bully and convince myself I need to, the less I want to. I always feel better after I do, but overcoming that initial hump is brutal, amiright?!!
Want to know some tricks that have been game changers for me?!! They trigger such a mentality shift for me, and work every single time, whenever I'm hurting for motivation.
Simply focus on M O V E M E N T
That's it. Forget about aesthetics and trying to look a certain way. Forget about forcing yourself to lift as heavy as last time because you're so consumed with progressing. Forget about burning a certain number of calories or achieving a certain number of steps. Forget about leg day and chest/back day and working a certain muscle group. JUST MOVE.
Go for a walk (I love walking my dogs and zoning out to music - it soothes my soul like nothing else). Do a Fitness Marshall dance video on YouTube (total blast). Do a few yoga vinyasas. Take the stairs at work. Stand up every 10 seconds at work (more on this later). Eliminate the pressure on yourself and just focus on simply moving. THAT'S IT. [Re]discover the joy in it.
Next:
Grant yourself permission to quit after 10 minutes
If you're lobbying hard to convince yourself you need to go to workout but you just don't wanna - then tell yourself all you have to do is ten minutes. That's all. You can quit with dignity after logging 10 minutes. You can actually get an excellent workout in (hello HIIT!!! hello lifting heavy for low reps!!!) in that amount of time. And IT'S JUST TEN MINUTES. That's about the time it takes you to shower, or eat a snack, or start getting sucked into the social media vortex. JUST TEN MINUTES. You've got this!!!
If you need workout inspo, peep Alexia Clark on Instagram (my fave!) for ideas for quick but effective circuits. What I love about Alexia is her variety of workouts. She posts at least a couple of workouts daily - via both her feed and stories.
Or message me, and I'll happily shoot you a quick workout to do!! If you choose a cardio machine, make the most of your time by avoiding steady-state cardio (unless you're just focusing on movement - then by all means, you do you!) and incorporating intervals by adjusting time/resistance/incline/speed throughout those ten minutes.
xx,
-w-
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography
L A Y E R I N G
We almost did it. We almost made it through with a mild winter and minimal snow. Mother Nature be like, "PSSSSYYYCCHHEEE!" Joke's on us! At least if you live in Idaho.
Let's look at the bright side! Now we have more time and justification to wear those cozy chic winter clothes.
Let's talk layering. If spring fever seduced you into stashing those winter threads away out of reach already, then today's post is still for you - maybe even especially for you!
The layering trend piggybacked onto the '90s revival that swept the nation, and the trend lingered. This is fantastic for those transitional seasons (winter to spring, fall to winter), while the weather tries to figure its shiz out (as if it ever really does lately though, right?! Insert climate change "I told you so" here).
Back to layering. Here's a list of reasons to layer:
- Makes it easy to accommodate temperature fluctuations
- Takes a look from hoochie to professional (now you can wear your cute new spaghetti strap dress/top to work without getting sent home!)
- Allows you to maintain modesty
- Secures your spot on any current "best-dressed list"
To keep from looking like a schlump (like you rolled out of bed/gained 16 lbs) is to layer form-fitting items. You can get away with a looser-fitting item if the rest are tight. This is especially true if you're curvy! Form-fitting hugs and accentuates those curves, tapering in under them to show you actually do have a waist and legs. We'll address dressing for your body type in another post.
Layering form-fitting items is also crucial if you're dressing for a photo shoot. Let's face it: cameras add bulk. Reduce the bulk by keeping it tooiiiigghhtt like a toiiiggga (translation: tight like a tiger, in a Dutch accent, per Austin Powers: Goldmember).
In my looks here, I had some fun with the look. I paired a solid-color dress with a tight thermal top with a fun print. To add warmth, I threw on thick knit tights. To add impracticality (not intentionally, but I don't let the weather tell me how to live my life!) I put on gold heels. For an extra punch, I wore a fun headband (as my nod to Gossip Girls, and because headbands just rule - I'm convinced they'll make a comeback).
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography
You can be as polished/casual/grunge as you want to be with layering. Try a tight sweater under a dress, or a graphic tee under a lacy top/dress (that juxtaposition between dressy/casual makes it extra fun).
Happy layering!
xx,
-w-
M E D I T A T I O N
Model: Chloe Bauer Ford/Robert Black Agency
Whitney Richardson Photography
“The body benefits from movement and the mind benefits from stillness.”
If you're anything like me, it can feel impossible to quiet the mind. I constantly have 10,000 tabs open and my mind jumps from one to the next to the next to the... Wait, what was I talking about??
This frenzied pace can be draining! Emotionally/physically/mentally draining. It's particularly problematic when you're lying in bed desperate for ZZZs. Isn't it maddening when all you want is to slide into dreamland, and your mind is buzzing?? Torturous, it really is.
And/or maybe you feel the days' stresses getting to you throughout the week. You constantly feel like you're in a reactive state, and just need to come down from all of it. Back to steady. Back to good. Back to zen (or at least some semblance of it!).
Or maybe you're facing a major issue/problem, and unsure what to do. Internationally-acclaimed business guru, speaker, author, and productivity expert Brian Tracy advises whenever you have a problem, an obstacle, a frustration, or a challenge in your life, you should sit quietly in silence for 30 to 60 minutes. In his Get Smart book (amazing book - I'll link it under resources), he asserts, "The very first time you do this, almost without exception, the answer to your biggest problem will come to you, almost like a butterfly alighting on your shoulder." He adds, "Many of my students report to me that problems that had concerned them for weeks or months were almost instantly resolved by their first practice of a session in solitude." He further promises your answer that comes will be complete in every way and will address every detail of the problem or difficulty. It will be simple, clear, and entirely within your capabilities to act. When you apply the solution, everything will immediately resolve itself.
Tracy acknowledges your first session in solitude may be extremely difficult. You'll almost have to hold yourself down for the first 20 to 25 minutes. KEEP AT IT, because then your stresses will melt away and you will enter complete relaxation. Uh, yeah! Sign me up! At this point, your mind will begin to flow with thoughts, ideas, insights, perspectives, solutions to problems, and other inspirations, any of which may change your life!
Model: Chloe Bauer Ford/Robert Black Agency
Whitney Richardson Photography
For years I intended to meditate. I knew of its wide-ranging benefits (enhanced memory, improved sleep, heightened energy, regulated emotions, etc!). I'd had doctors recommend it to me. I think I resisted it for so long because: 1. transitioning from hyperactive mind to quiet mind seemed too daunting; and 2. I always justified a better use of my limited time. Finally, after yet another wildly successful person attributed their success to meditation, I decided to give it a go.
The shocking part?? It was SO MUCH EASIER than I expected! It was as if my mind breathed a massive sigh of relief. I started with 15 minutes, and am now up to 30 minutes. From the first session, I started actually looking forward to it!
One meditation method does not fit all. You have so many options! You have moving meditation, guided meditation, silent meditation, etc. Explore, experiment, and find what works for you! For each session, I personally set an intention or two, and meditate for clarity/guidance/peace. Then I just sit comfortably (comfort is key!) and focus on my breath. I'll focus on relevant affirmations. If my mind wanders, I'll gently encourage it to return to the present. That's really helped me - adopting a laid-back approach and not getting hyped up if my mind wanders or a distraction arises (cue barking dogs!). There are many meditation apps to simplify the process. I'll list some below.
However, as Shyalpa Tenzin Rinpoche notes, "Meditation is not just for relaxation. Its primary purpose is to develop the capacity to respond skillfully and gracefully to life's difficulties as well as its joys." It allows you to be mindful and live in the moment.
Meditation helps you live a proactive instead of a reactive life. Still not sold? Put it this way: Meditation helps you create and live the life you want, instead of the life others create for you. It helps you decrease emotional reactivity. As Tim Ferriss (author of The 4-Hour Workweek and Tribe of Mentors, and host of the Tim Ferriss Podcast) puts it, it helps you pause before blowing up, helping you "actually get the result you want, instead of the conflict that might be very gratifying for a second then creates a whole host of other issues for yourself." Win win!
All of this still may not resonate with you. I get it. Or maybe you're unsure of where to start. The easiest place is using the app called Headspace. Simply do the "10 and 10" which is 10 minutes for 10 straight days. That's it! You'll get a taste of what meditation can do for you.
“Meditation is a slow melt into love.”
Meditation has the power to improve every single aspect of your life. And when you finally do get to it - you'll wish you started it sooner. TRUST.
xx,
-w-
R E S O U R C E S:
BOOKS
Get Smart by Brian Tracy
The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein
PODCAST
The Model Health Show: The 5 Biggest Myths about Meditation with Light Watkins
http://theshawnstevensonmodel.com/myths-about-meditation/
APPS
Headspace (iOS, Android, Web)
Insight Timer (iOS, Android)
Stop, Breathe, and Think (iOS, Android, Web)
Take A Break! (iOS, Android, Web)
MY BODY JOURNEY
My personal body journey.
Body. This area is near and dear to my heart. It's been my passion and focus for more years than I care to count. The truth is...
My body and I haven't always been on the same team, for which I take full responsibility. Blinded by lofty aesthetic and fitness ideals, I tried to force my body into what it wasn't. Superhuman stamina or bust. Six pack or bust. Each day I demanded improvement. It was unacceptable to me to do less than the day before. Rest days were laughable. Just one more rep than the day before. Then one more. Then one more...
With a pace and mentality like that - without the chance to recover - it doesn't take long for your body to B U R N out. And I kept up that pace for a disgustingly long time. I still marvel at how my body kept up with me as long as it did. At the height of it, I was working out over 5 hours A DAY. And we're not talking light jogs - we're talking going A L L O U T. For example, here was a day in the life:
5:00 am: Wake up and do an Insanity video. Add additional cardio before and after the video started jusssst to make sure I was getting all I could from the workout. After the video ended, repeat a few of the parts I feel I didn't do as well.
7:00 am - Park my car as far from where I was going as possible, so I could squeeze in some extra walking miles to and from classes at ISU.
11:00 am: Kickboxing/aerobics class
3:30/4:00 pm: Arrive to Gold's Gym early, so I could knock out some extra cardio
4:30 pm: Pilates
5:30 pm: Hip Hop Aerobics
6:30 pm: Body Pump [weight-lifting class]
7:30 pm: Zumba
*In between all of this, I was working and going to school full-time, demanding excellence of myself in those areas as well
By nature, I have an all-or-nothing personality (something I've really had to work to overcome). My days were for working/working out, and my nights were for winding down and eating. In my mind, eating was part of relaxing and releasing - not something I did throughout the day to, ya know, FUEL MY BODY. (facepalm) For so long, I denied my body's screams for adequate rest. For solid nutrition. For self love.
As you can imagine, my body wasn't too stoked about my regimen, and I wasn't too stoked about my body's refusal to obey. I felt more and more sluggish. Each step was a chore. I wanted to cry, thinking about drumming up the energy to get through each day, yet each time it came to work out, my OCDness kicked into gear and I'd force myself to do just as much or more than the day before. I was terrified of losing the "progress" for which I'd battled (little did I know, my lack of rest was actually hindering progress). Again, in my mind it was all or nothing: if I didn't do as much as I'd done the day before, then all was lost. Ironically, people at the gym nicknamed me "Energizer Bunny" - little did they know how untrue that was. Rather than energy, it was sheer stupid determination powering me.
As you can see, that drive for "greatness" is a slippery slope. It's always been my biggest strength and biggest weakness.
Eventually, my body waved the white flag. It just.couldn't.sustain.that pace. It had run on fumes for far too long, and it had had enough. I'd magically produce the energy for hard workouts, but could barely put one foot in front of the other otherwise. My sleep suffered. My concentration suffered. I had unshakeable brain fog. My adrenals were shot and my metabolism was wrecked. Add into the mix pre-existing thyroid and sleep issues, and you have a recipe for total disaster.
While I hold myself fully accountable for the hell I put my body through, I'll be honest: positive feedback from people partly fueled my fire. Even if I didn't initially set out to drop weight, I soon started hearing from people how "fantastic" I looked. How inspirational I was. To "keep up whatever" i was doing "because it's working." The compliments were intoxicating. Naturally, I thought, "What the hell did I look like before? Clearly this is a necessary improvement - I need to keep this up!" To be fair - the complimenters were good-intentioned and had no idea of the true story, but... I will be FOREVER grateful for the very few people who had the courage and compassion to see through the exterior and tell me I looked too thin and worn out. To me - it felt like they were eliminating the pressure to keep it up. They were giving me permission to put down the gloves and quit the fight. That's why to this day, I am always careful about complimenting a person's weight loss - especially if I'm unsure of their motivations/methods. I never ever want to add fuel to their fire. If I do comment, I try to emphasize their fitness - rather than aesthetic - gains.
Why did I just dump on you like this? Not because I wanted to blab about myself. Not because I wanted to elicit sympathy/pity/awe/etc. My SOLE REASON for bringing you in on this is to prove recovery is possible. TRULY. And to help along your journey of self-acceptance and healing. I would love nothing more.
I'll tell you a secret: I always thought people who said they recovered from body issues were, well...FRIGGIN' FULL OF IT. I thought, "They're just selling a line" or "Yeah, they must not have felt as intensely about it as I did." I never ever ever ever ever ever (times 1,000) thought I would ever be able to achieve balance and have a healthy relationship with my body and fitness. I was convinced I was doomed to a life of hating and resisting my body.
Well, guess what?!!
IT REALLY AND TRULY IS POSSIBLE. It definitely is not instant. It takes time, effort, persistence, and DESIRE. It takes internal and external support. It takes commitment to being on the same team as your body. And honestly - that's when the magic happens, when you recognize the phenomenon that is the human body, and all it does for you. Once I stopped resisting, things fell into place. Once I truced with my body and allowed it to do its thing, it delivered tenfold. The key is listening to your body. I eat more and work out less, all while looking and feeling better than ever. And there have actually even been times in the past where my body naturally dropped significant weight easily and effortlessly without killing myself. The body has its own reasons for doing what it does - so your best bet is to befriend it. Trust me.
My one and only focus now is feeling good - now and long term. That one objective drives all of my decisions: what I do with my body, and what I put into it. It's just a bonus that I look in the mirror and like what I see, but that's no longer my motivator. There is an undeniable power in getting on the same team as your body. Your body is an intelligent and powerful force. It already knows what it needs, in regards to diet, exercise, rest... All you have to do is tap into that intuition and sync up with it. That's it. Your body naturally does the heavy lifting (literally and figuratively). Get out of your head - especially if it's filled with impossible ideals of how you "should" look - and make friends with that bod of yours. Through this blog, I will share tips and tricks I've found useful on my path to healing. And if you're one of those lucky souls who's never personally faced such issues - as long as you have a body, this blog section is for you! I will share tips in general for looking and FEELING your best. LET'S DO DIS.
xx,
-w-